You Matter...
116 • 4/06/2026
“My brother and I did not have a single clue that there would be 200 people coming to pay tribute and thanks for the life his wife led and the people she touched.”
It happened a few years back when there was a memorial for my oldest brother’s wife who had died.
My brother called me and asked if I would come and help him with the memorial as well as with a gathering to be held after the occasion at his house.
I arrived a few days earlier and we talked about many things, including whether the place he had chosen for the memorial was going to be too large for the small group he had planned on coming. Throughout the day prior to the occasion, family from both sides came to visit. It was good to see other family members, but I would have rather it had been under better circumstances.
On the day of the event, my brother and I arrived early to begin preparations, unfolding chairs, making sure there would be “quiet” places where people could gather in private.
As the time began to get closer for the memorial to begin, I asked my brother how many people did he think would attend? He had no idea but said that there might be around 75–100.
The time came to begin and so I opened the doors and discovered that people had lined up, and the line went around a corner. I went to tell my brother and he couldn’t believe it.
His wife participated in children’s causes and a very wide variety of personal rights non-profits. She was well respected and highly admired. She was a good person.
As the event began and people started coming to the front to say a few words about her, I looked over and could tell how much my brother was affected by all the kind words and verbal tributes coming from a variety of guests.
After it was over and people started leaving, my brother and I figured out that there must have been upwards of a bit more than 200 people who attended that memorial.
As we live our lives and meet people, we don’t really have any idea how much of a mark we leave on individuals and/or groups. One might join a group of musicians or actors or even a book group. As we get older the number of people we have met and the list of organizations to which we belong begin to lengthen, but we still haven’t a clue as to how many we have touched.
My brother and I did not have a single clue that there would be 200 people coming to pay tribute and thanks for the life his wife led and the people she touched.
Many of us live lives of a type of seclusion. Our daily activities are pretty much programmed into our systems so that most of what we do is automatic and repetitious. We seldom go out of our way to say, “Hello,” to a neighbor. Much of the time we don’t even know our next-door neighbor, even after we have lived side-by-side for more than 20-years.
It might do us all a bit of good if we were to break out of that mold and break into a smile when we are passing people on the street.
Be good, be nice. You might enjoy it.
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“Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.” —Rumi, excerpted from “The Guest House”
Tiggy Walker | The Kitchen Garden: “Written as both a teaser and a mini sequel to a screenplay I’ve written which is in development called ‘Antonia’ , this short touches on the importance of nature and the power of food to heal. Starring actors Ramon Tikaram and Pippa Haywood, this is my debut piece of screenwriting and direction. After years of producing commercials it was a complete joy to step out of my comfort zone and express something that was deep in me. At the time of making, my husband was sick and in a wheelchair, thus that was my inspiration for the character Francis being disabled. The themes of nature and food healing are echoed in the film ‘Antonia’.” ©Tiggy Walker, text and image (ed. This is an ages-old tale filmed and acted very nicely, with a very good message.)
Mitch Whitehead | 5 Lessons From Rick Rubin’s “The Creative Act: A Way of Being”: Over the last few days, I’ve been making my way, slowly and intermittently, through Rick Rubin’s incredible book “The Creative Act: A Way of Being”. A gorgeous, well-crafted, and thoughtful object in and of itself and a collection of short essays, even sometimes just a few paragraphs in length, all exploring the nature of creativity, the life of the creative person, and the act of creating itself. It’s been a deep pleasure to drop in on the book at different times and in different places and meander through these delicate, reflective passages.
©Mitch Whitehead (ed. If we’re talking about Rick Rubin, I’m in!)
Brooke Shaden | Storyteller: “When I was 11 years old, my mom picked me up from school for a doctor’s appointment. What she didn’t tell me? It was a vet appointment for my cat, who we were going to put down. I remember holding her in my arms as she died—the limp weight of her, and the tears that burned the backs of my eyes. But I also remember the beauty of it, a deep sense of circuity that has, to this day, permeated the way I see the world.
I’m afraid of death, perhaps not dissimilarly to most people. But while I fear mortality, I also find it beautiful. And that’s not exactly normal. I measure my life not in how fearless I am, but how brave I can be in the face of it. To examine what scares me, and name it.
If my art can shed light on those dark places for someone else, I’ll consider the whole thing a success.” ©Brooke Shaden, image and text (note: all artists featured in this section have been previously published in Shadow & Light Magazine)
Poetics | David Whyte: This is one of my favorite poems from David Whyte. It is at once whimsical and magical, but it also serves as a realization that even when you might feel like all is lost; it’s not. You may need to give this poem a couple of reads.
Everything is waiting for you
Your great mistake is to act the drama
as if you were alone. As if life
were a progressive and cunning crime
with no witness to the tiny hidden
transgressions. To feel abandoned is to deny
the intimacy of your surroundings. Surely,
even you, at times, have felt the grand array;
the swelling presence, and the chorus, crowding
out your solo voice. You must note
the way the soap dish enables you,
or the window latch grants you freedom.
Alertness is the hidden discipline of familiarity.
The stairs are your mentor of things
to come, the doors have always been there
to frighten you and invite you,
and the tiny speaker in the phone
is your dream-ladder to divinity.
Put down the weight of your aloneness and ease into the
conversation. The kettle is singing
even as it pours you a drink, the cooking pots
have left their arrogant aloofness and
seen the good in you at last. All the birds
and creatures of the world are unutterably
themselves. Everything is waiting for you.
©David Whyte
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A perfect followup to the spiritual week and weekend it has been for many around the world. The description of your oldest brother's wife passing and memorial say volumes, awakening us to the fact that we do not work or play or live in a vacuum. We hardly ever know or hear what people think until a person passes from this realm, which is unfortunate. The Rumi quote is a tidy and wonderful piece of writing to confirm much of what you said in your Starter beginning, and the poem by David Whyte ties the whole thing together. Thanks for starting the day gently and with significance.